We have spent nearly every single important moment in our lives together. I am so intimately bound to him that I cannot picture life with out having a twin. It is different for us though, being different genders and all. We somehow manage to complement each other, where I am loud he is fairly reserved, I'm often irrational whereas he is the voice of reason, I fluctuate between moods at a rapid pace whereas he tends to radiate on a steady balance; I make him step out of his comfort zone whereas he is my voice of reason and steady hand telling me when I need to back down.
Up until only a few years ago we very rarely 'got along'. We were in the same year at school, and me being super competitive, managed to shine whilst I pushed him into the shadows. I was always aggressive in our arguments often using my wit (yes believe it or not I do have some) to out smart him. We didn't get along with each others social groups, in fact some people only came to realize that we were even related when we were in year 12. I saw him as someone who was dorky and annoying and perhaps occasionally weak whereas he perceived me as being bitchy, loud, obnoxious and completely self obsessed.
We have, not a disability, but an exposure and a genetic make up that is at risk of depression. We have both been hit with it at different stages yet somehow this mental state, rather than pushing us away from each other even more, has drawn us closer together than ever before.
There was a very hard time a few years back where I gave all I could to see my brother be okay to the extent that it broke me; that was the first time he ever cradled me in his arms and promised to protect me, and promised that he would change. And from that moment on things did change. He progressively fought and was able to reach a sustainable mental level where he would share with me his mental state. We walked through that together for a while. Then we both got jobs and I moved away.
I would not say that my mental state is inextricably tied to his, for it isn't, but if my twin isn't doing to well than 99% of the time neither am I. A few months into working at our new jobs my brother found out he was being let go. This broke my heart, however I had to remain the strong foundation to my twin who now wasn't sure what to do with life at all.
Time passed and my state progressively worsened, however I didn't let that on to anyone within my family. It reached the stage at the beginning of this year where I was no longer the person I once was; I could hardly function as a person at all. After a series of events I landed myself jobless, homeless, I lost my closest friends, and was hysterical. But there was my twin.
Not many... actually I could count on one hand the amount of people who know this... but during this time I cried out in pain and my twin brother held me. He held me so tight it would cut of my circulation. He didn't leave. Sometimes I cried for a few hours but he sat there holding me whilst I said some really unintelligible things (in retrospect some of them are quite hilarious!). He didn't let go even though he could have been doing a thousand other things like not supporting and holding down a very emotional girl.
Being a twin has it's ups and downs, don't get me wrong. But I am so immensely blessed to have my twin!
People always wonder what its like in our home. Well to be honest with you... it's pretty much like hanging out with your friends. We don't ignore each other, actually we do our own thing and even include each other in it. We joke around, often at our mothers expense (sorry bout that) and we go for walks or go get coffee.
And finally for anyone who still may be confused as to whether we are identical I have one thing to say to you... He's a guy, I'm a girl... I do not have a penis. (that should adequately answer your question)
